Somewhere...somehow...sometime along the way, we became much to dependent on two incomes. I cant say we have ever become comfortable on two incomes, but we definitely have felt as if we had to have it. Medical bills keep rolling in, unexpected tax bills, and the desire to see family that are not within driving distance have all kept us pushing forward. The plan was for me to work full time one more year, and cut back next fall if I needed. Then came a four year old who asked questions like "Mommy can we look at the grass under the microscope to see why it cuts us?", and an infant with a rare illness, and the next thing I know I am shouting "I want off this ride!"
God often speaks to me through music, as I know He does to many! I love Tal & Acacia, the new group of sisters that are doing their first tours right now. One of their songs rolled my feelings into a nice little capsule that made me realize I was not alone, and not a failure. There are just simply not enough hours in the day, and something had to give. When God entrusted these children to me, I promised I would never make that something them. So this week I started the process of cutting back a full semester and one month earlier than anticipated. The hardest hit will be the bank account. But I am confident that the Lord will take care of us. He always has.
Monday, November 29, 2010
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
The Need to Hyperventilate
The more I find out the more I panic. I think they are called anxiety attacks. I have never had them before now. But with Elianna's diagnosis, sometimes I find out new information that triggers every single mama instinct I have to protect my child and then lets me know I cant do anything about it. What has happened a few times now is this feeling of no oxygen in the room and the ability to not sit still. Clearly I need to work on some coping mechanisms and being on my knees more. Hello....God? If you could just keep reminding me that I am not the one in control and that I can only do what is humanly possible?
Let me explain my panic a little bit. We now have this other factor to Elianna's condition to deal with it. It's called CORN. I had NO idea before now, and it has pushed me fully over the edge into conspiracy theory city. No, I dont think little green men are chasing us around, but I am continually amazed at the power of politics and government, and what the average person refuses to see. Here are two examples:
First, there is Elianna's formula. Her only source of nutrition that is medical grade and prescription, contains MSG. Yup, you heard me right. MSG. When I contacted the manufacturer (Mead Johnson) they used the FDA to back themselves up. Not medical studies or the best interest of my child, but the fact that the government allows it so it is acceptable. If this is not a pass for personal responsibility and a sign of how big government has hurt us then I dont know what is! The result? My new last name has to be Brochovich.
The second example is courtesy of corn. Elianna reacted off the charts to corn with her patch testing. And when the allergist pointed to it and suggested I try something else, I could only answer "there are none". NONE. Did you know that? NO formulas in the United States of America that do not have corn in them in some manner. NONE. Of course if you ask the specialists they say that the corn in them is so manipulated, diluted, changed, and modified that it is not really corn so it doesn't count. Sound like a joke? I am very serious. The number one ingredient in Ellie's hypoallergenic formula is 46% corn syrup solids.
Oh and by the way? MSG? Comes from corn. I suppose I should have titled this post 'How the FDA has pushed me over the edge".
Let me explain my panic a little bit. We now have this other factor to Elianna's condition to deal with it. It's called CORN. I had NO idea before now, and it has pushed me fully over the edge into conspiracy theory city. No, I dont think little green men are chasing us around, but I am continually amazed at the power of politics and government, and what the average person refuses to see. Here are two examples:
First, there is Elianna's formula. Her only source of nutrition that is medical grade and prescription, contains MSG. Yup, you heard me right. MSG. When I contacted the manufacturer (Mead Johnson) they used the FDA to back themselves up. Not medical studies or the best interest of my child, but the fact that the government allows it so it is acceptable. If this is not a pass for personal responsibility and a sign of how big government has hurt us then I dont know what is! The result? My new last name has to be Brochovich.
The second example is courtesy of corn. Elianna reacted off the charts to corn with her patch testing. And when the allergist pointed to it and suggested I try something else, I could only answer "there are none". NONE. Did you know that? NO formulas in the United States of America that do not have corn in them in some manner. NONE. Of course if you ask the specialists they say that the corn in them is so manipulated, diluted, changed, and modified that it is not really corn so it doesn't count. Sound like a joke? I am very serious. The number one ingredient in Ellie's hypoallergenic formula is 46% corn syrup solids.
Oh and by the way? MSG? Comes from corn. I suppose I should have titled this post 'How the FDA has pushed me over the edge".
Saturday, October 16, 2010
The Correct Way to Measure Flour
Did you know? I had no idea!
Measuring the Right Way
http://www.savingdinner.tv/featured/measuring-the-right-way/
Measuring the Right Way
http://www.savingdinner.tv/featured/measuring-the-right-way/
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Out of the Funk
Ever since we discovered Elianna's reaction to corn with the patch testing I have been in a frustrated, helpless, sad, not-sure-what-to-do funk. It has been very difficult to shake. Funny how the Almighty takes care of things like this.
Recently some friends of ours had their twins extremely premature. In fact, she had the babies a week or so ago, and the babies are not due until January or February. Last night I learned that one of the extremely premature babies has gone to be with Jesus, and the other is barely hanging on with several brain bleeds.
This morning one of MFFs called and in conversation we discussed a friend she has with stage four breast cancer, and her three small children. Her chances are grim and she will most likely be leaving her babies behind.
I looked at my Ellie this morning and realized that both of these families would say: You still have her.
In spite of the stress, the unknowns, and the extreme lifestyle changes, Elianna appears to be happy, healthy, and growing like an average toddler. The Lord is protecting her future. Our home will be healthier in the end and we will be forced to rethink things to the 'nth' degree. She still suffers, she is still in pain often, and we have no idea to what extent she will be affected for life. But in the end our major stresses boil down to time and money - not enough. And the Lord promises to take care of us if we just let him. We still have her, and I wouldn't trade a minute of it. Good bye funk!
Recently some friends of ours had their twins extremely premature. In fact, she had the babies a week or so ago, and the babies are not due until January or February. Last night I learned that one of the extremely premature babies has gone to be with Jesus, and the other is barely hanging on with several brain bleeds.
This morning one of MFFs called and in conversation we discussed a friend she has with stage four breast cancer, and her three small children. Her chances are grim and she will most likely be leaving her babies behind.
I looked at my Ellie this morning and realized that both of these families would say: You still have her.
In spite of the stress, the unknowns, and the extreme lifestyle changes, Elianna appears to be happy, healthy, and growing like an average toddler. The Lord is protecting her future. Our home will be healthier in the end and we will be forced to rethink things to the 'nth' degree. She still suffers, she is still in pain often, and we have no idea to what extent she will be affected for life. But in the end our major stresses boil down to time and money - not enough. And the Lord promises to take care of us if we just let him. We still have her, and I wouldn't trade a minute of it. Good bye funk!
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Pioneer not Hippie, Please.
As we have gotten farther and farther into the realm of family life with FPIES, I find myself exhausted with canning, puree-ing, dehydrating, researching, etc. I now have books about preserving foods, homesteading, and natural living. My latest adventure of looking to make my own olive oil soap has pushed me into the realm of embarrassment. Saving money, being healthier, and perhaps even looking 'green' have all been perks of our recent family adjustments. But making my own soap is a little too 'hippie' if you ask me!
Have you ever tried to eliminate soy, dairy, corn, processed grains, and sugar? It's relatively difficult. In fact, there are days that I just want to say 'screw it all!' and feed my family Oscar Meyer drowning in a coat of Heinz and resting in a Rainbow Bread bun. Agh! The more I learn, the more I wish I didn't know, and the more I have to explain to other people when they look at me with that 'oh you are one of THOSE' looks.
After expressing my frustration and insecurity to several friends, I think I have finally come to terms with the fact that I am making these choices out of necessity. I have a little girl in my house who can not have corn, dairy, soy, or grain products touch her skin. She can not accidentally ingest the soy based ink on the newspaper, or the corn base in the bath soap. It is my job to take care of her, and I will not be embarrassed.
I am a homeschooling, researching, canning, dehydrating, cooking, baking, blending, soon to be soap-making, chemical free mother. We avoid hydrogenated oils, soy products, refined sugars, dyes, preservatives, and processed foods. We limit our plastic, buy natural meats, and have organic fruit and vegetables delivered by a CSA.
I am not a hippie. I am a Pioneer. In many ways.
Have you ever tried to eliminate soy, dairy, corn, processed grains, and sugar? It's relatively difficult. In fact, there are days that I just want to say 'screw it all!' and feed my family Oscar Meyer drowning in a coat of Heinz and resting in a Rainbow Bread bun. Agh! The more I learn, the more I wish I didn't know, and the more I have to explain to other people when they look at me with that 'oh you are one of THOSE' looks.
After expressing my frustration and insecurity to several friends, I think I have finally come to terms with the fact that I am making these choices out of necessity. I have a little girl in my house who can not have corn, dairy, soy, or grain products touch her skin. She can not accidentally ingest the soy based ink on the newspaper, or the corn base in the bath soap. It is my job to take care of her, and I will not be embarrassed.
I am a homeschooling, researching, canning, dehydrating, cooking, baking, blending, soon to be soap-making, chemical free mother. We avoid hydrogenated oils, soy products, refined sugars, dyes, preservatives, and processed foods. We limit our plastic, buy natural meats, and have organic fruit and vegetables delivered by a CSA.
I am not a hippie. I am a Pioneer. In many ways.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Friday, September 17, 2010
FAQ about Ellie
1. Q. Does she just have food allergies?
A. Yes, she has food allergies. But not 'just' food allergies. Common allergies as we know them affect the respiratory system. FPIES affects the gastrointestinal system.
2. Q. What can she eat?
A. At this time she is on a liquid diet (prescription medical grade amino acid based formula). She has two safe foods - peaches and nectarines.
3. Q. What can she not eat?
A. Anything other than her prescription formula and plain peaches or nectarines.
4. Q. Will she 'outgrow' it?
A. Technically no, since FPIES is a Tcell response. Cells in her blood respond incorrectly to foods and those cells take an average of 18 months to die off. After those 18 months, when she is exposed to that food again, her body may choose not to react and that food would have become suddenly safe.
A. Yes, she has food allergies. But not 'just' food allergies. Common allergies as we know them affect the respiratory system. FPIES affects the gastrointestinal system.
2. Q. What can she eat?
A. At this time she is on a liquid diet (prescription medical grade amino acid based formula). She has two safe foods - peaches and nectarines.
3. Q. What can she not eat?
A. Anything other than her prescription formula and plain peaches or nectarines.
4. Q. Will she 'outgrow' it?
A. Technically no, since FPIES is a Tcell response. Cells in her blood respond incorrectly to foods and those cells take an average of 18 months to die off. After those 18 months, when she is exposed to that food again, her body may choose not to react and that food would have become suddenly safe.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)