The Need to Hyperventilate

The more I find out the more I panic. I think they are called anxiety attacks. I have never had them before now. But with Elianna's diagnosis, sometimes I find out new information that triggers every single mama instinct I have to protect my child and then lets me know I cant do anything about it. What has happened a few times now is this feeling of no oxygen in the room and the ability to not sit still. Clearly I need to work on some coping mechanisms and being on my knees more. Hello....God? If you could just keep reminding me that I am not the one in control and that I can only do what is humanly possible?

Let me explain my panic a little bit. We now have this other factor to Elianna's condition to deal with it. It's called CORN. I had NO idea before now, and it has pushed me fully over the edge into conspiracy theory city. No, I dont think little green men are chasing us around, but I am continually amazed at the power of politics and government, and what the average person refuses to see. Here are two examples:

First, there is Elianna's formula. Her only source of nutrition that is medical grade and prescription, contains MSG. Yup, you heard me right. MSG. When I contacted the manufacturer (Mead Johnson) they used the FDA to back themselves up. Not medical studies or the best interest of my child, but the fact that the government allows it so it is acceptable. If this is not a pass for personal responsibility and a sign of how big government has hurt us then I dont know what is! The result? My new last name has to be Brochovich.

The second example is courtesy of corn. Elianna reacted off the charts to corn with her patch testing. And when the allergist pointed to it and suggested I try something else, I could only answer "there are none". NONE. Did you know that? NO formulas in the United States of America that do not have corn in them in some manner. NONE. Of course if you ask the specialists they say that the corn in them is so manipulated, diluted, changed, and modified that it is not really corn so it doesn't count. Sound like a joke? I am very serious. The number one ingredient in Ellie's hypoallergenic formula is 46% corn syrup solids.

Oh and by the way? MSG? Comes from corn. I suppose I should have titled this post 'How the FDA has pushed me over the edge".